Every Sunday I spend time intentionally focusing on me. I close my bedroom door, I light a candle or two along with some incense, and play music. I usually have my 20oz tumbler filled with steaming hot coffee while I enjoy a filling plate of whole wheat toast, hashbrowns, Just Egg, and sometimes vegan chorizo. I stay in this space, in my pajamas for as long as I want and everyone in my family knows not to disturb me!
Why? Because I need to get back into my body and I bet so do you. As women and even more so as parents, we spend a large portion of our week living in our heads. "I have to get the kids up by 7am and to the bus stop by 7:50am so we dont miss the bus again, then take the second kid to the bus stop by 8:30am. Did my check air pressure light just come on? I think there's a 7-Eleven on the way to work...how much does air cost now?!" And all of this before 9am when the demands of work will kick in. It's the nature of the world we live in, there are many appointments to keep, places to be, and things to do before we go to bed at night and that leaves many feeling grumpy come Sunday. In fact several studies have shown that adults experience something called "Sunday Blues" whereby people anticipate the weight of the week ahead and begin to feel depressed or anxious.
Many years ago, I spent my days on long commutes to and from work, cramming dinner and family time into the evening before putting my children to bed at 8pm. Only to start doing classwork and college essays until 12am-1am. Just enough time to catch a few hours sleep and start the day all over again. During these days I would often struggle with gastritis flare ups and insomnia, thinking back I can see why, I ate a lot of processed foods and used wine as a coping mechanism for stress. I was the heaviest I'd been as an adult and I didnt feel safe in my own head but I lived there often.
Most of this lifestyle wasnt something I had chosen, I didnt enjoy the amount of time and energy away from my family, but this was the life I had to live at the time. I was the sole support for my family and no one else was going to manage my home so I had to do both. But when I became overwhelmed or "sick and tired of being sick and tired" I began to make small changes where I could. I begin waking up 30 minutes before my kids, instead of 15, so I could take extra moments with my own thoughts. I made coffee at home but I bought expensive coffee grounds when I could. I bought myself flowers to display in my home just because I felt like it. Over time these self love practices evolved and shifted depending on what I needed at that moment in life and they became more and more vital to my mental wellbeing.
Creating intentional moments to just be me and not someone who has to be or do anything for anyone else is life saving. I invite you to write down a list of times throughout this coming week to reconnect with yourself and come back into your body. If you havent done this in a while you may find it a little difficult at first but stick with it! Keep coming back to yourself in different ways and different moments. With consistency and time I believe you cultivate an amazing selfcare practice that will help you get back into alignment.