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Regroup, don’t retreat.


This weekend while making breakfast my eleven year old son loudly proclaimed “there is nothing in this house to eat!”. This was an obvious alternative fact to anyone with vision, as there were approximately 4 boxes of cereal, 2 bags of bagels, 1 box of instant pancakes, and a dozen eggs in the fridge (you thought I was going to say a patridge in a pear tree, didnt you?!). I looked at him confused and offered him non-breakfast foods but he stormed off to his room in frustration. I went about making my own breakfast burrito while giggling over his pubescent outburst and wondered what he was going to do. I was very encouraged to see him come out of the room a 15-20 minutes later and announced what he had determined was acceptable breakfast food. I originally thought he retreated in defeat, giving up the fight just to be stubborn, it wouldnt be a first for him to “hunger strike”. But instead he regrouped and decided to go back at the challenge ahead. I am immensely proud of my son for coming to this conclusion on his own for two reasons. The first being that as someone on the Autism Spectrum he often struggles with problem solving, I have seen how his problem solving skills have evolved from grunts, screams, and physical outburts to thoughtful determination. The second being that for many of us, at age 30, 40, and even 50 we still struggle with making choices under difficult situations. We are given situations that we could easily give up on and walk away, but at eleven years old my son has decided it is better to regroup than it is to retreat and give up.

Where have you retreated in life? What areas were you determined would be ooey gooey good for you but the circumstances didn’t line up just as you expected? This little moment with my son made me take inventory of what areas of my life I have surrendered and looked at with frustration, wishing they’d be something better. Over the years I have recognized those abandoned dreams dont look the same after years of disregard but I have been able to regroup and rescue those dreams. I have been able to breath life back into my spirit care and my health and realized that regrouping and moving forward towards the me I want to be is better than giving up and staying in my bedroom with an empty belly. Things have changed over the years, I am no longer married, I am not working in the field I have my degree in, and I don’t own a mansion yet but I have lost 60 pounds, gained enormous amounts of faith and I am the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been.

I became a women’s wellness coach for this very reason, living life empty and in isolation is no way for any woman to live. I am overjoyed anytime a sister friend reaches out to me to share their journey out of that lonely space and into their joyous, authentic, and whole self. I’d love to share the journey with you! Head over to our Facebook group, Chop Chop and become a member of the community. Its free and a safe space, just for us. See you there!

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